Things the parenting manuals don't tell you...

#1. Why my child is always walking around wearing just one sock, and the other is gone forever. Maybe he eats them?

#2. Why it never fails that 2 minutes after I change a wet diaper, he poops in the fresh one.

#3. Why his hands are like magnets to his poop-smeared cheeks/nards when on the changing table.

#4. How he knows when my head hits the pillow at bedtime, and immediately wakes to need changing or feeding.

#5. Why he always has a meltdown as soon as I begin posting...like right now. Grrrrr!

...To be continued.