Mirror, Mirror...why do you hate me so?
oh, the joy of the post-pregger body.
The self esteem fairy has failed me, yet again.
Do you ever have one of those days? You know...when you get dressed, and you actually like what you're wearing, and you're feeling pretty good about yourself, and then you walk over to the mirror expecting the worst. But somehow, the universe likes you today, the mirror is your friend. You don't look like your usual frumpy, exhausted, breathless, everything-is-getting-on-my-last-nerve self. No sir! Today, you look thinner, rested, confident and happy. What did you ever do to deserve such joy???
And then...
You turn to walk away. And you notice that you don't look quite as good from the side...but hey! No big deal, right?
And then...
'DON'T DO IT!' you think to yourself...but your body refuses to comply. You are confident, dammit! You are going to have a good day. And nothing, nothing is going to ruin that!
You turn...and look at your bum.
The universe is not your friend. It mocks you in your state of blissful ignorance and says "HA!...Sucker!"
Your eyes widen as you wonder how you didn't notice when this gigantic fat-parasite attached itself to your ass. How long has it been there, and more important, WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD YOU??? Your friends have let you walk around in public looking like this...or at least you thought they were your friends. You dream of punching your husband the very next time he smiles and says "I think your butt is sexy..." That lying son of a...what has he been smoking?
So there you are... torn between being thankful that you have the opportunity to dig through your entire wardrobe with the hope of finding something other than a muu-muu to cover the Mt Everest-sized trailer that you've been unknowingly dragging behind you, even though you know the effort is futile...and wishing you'd never, EVER turned and looked back into that mirror. You could have spent the entire day oblivious to your jiggly backside, feeling wonderful when you walked past others instead of praying their eyes weren't following you, inspiring thoughts of "Holy crap! Someone needs to put a back-up alarm on that thing!" If only you'd listened to the voice in your head...
*sigh*
Instead, you turn out the light, put on your bath robe, eat a cookie and vow to never leave the house until sundown.
The self esteem fairy has failed me, yet again.
Do you ever have one of those days? You know...when you get dressed, and you actually like what you're wearing, and you're feeling pretty good about yourself, and then you walk over to the mirror expecting the worst. But somehow, the universe likes you today, the mirror is your friend. You don't look like your usual frumpy, exhausted, breathless, everything-is-getting-on-my-last-nerve self. No sir! Today, you look thinner, rested, confident and happy. What did you ever do to deserve such joy???
And then...
You turn to walk away. And you notice that you don't look quite as good from the side...but hey! No big deal, right?
And then...
'DON'T DO IT!' you think to yourself...but your body refuses to comply. You are confident, dammit! You are going to have a good day. And nothing, nothing is going to ruin that!
You turn...and look at your bum.
The universe is not your friend. It mocks you in your state of blissful ignorance and says "HA!...Sucker!"
Your eyes widen as you wonder how you didn't notice when this gigantic fat-parasite attached itself to your ass. How long has it been there, and more important, WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD YOU??? Your friends have let you walk around in public looking like this...or at least you thought they were your friends. You dream of punching your husband the very next time he smiles and says "I think your butt is sexy..." That lying son of a...what has he been smoking?
So there you are... torn between being thankful that you have the opportunity to dig through your entire wardrobe with the hope of finding something other than a muu-muu to cover the Mt Everest-sized trailer that you've been unknowingly dragging behind you, even though you know the effort is futile...and wishing you'd never, EVER turned and looked back into that mirror. You could have spent the entire day oblivious to your jiggly backside, feeling wonderful when you walked past others instead of praying their eyes weren't following you, inspiring thoughts of "Holy crap! Someone needs to put a back-up alarm on that thing!" If only you'd listened to the voice in your head...
*sigh*
Instead, you turn out the light, put on your bath robe, eat a cookie and vow to never leave the house until sundown.
posted by Mo at 10:20 AM
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